Let’s keep it real, blaming other people and outside forces for the things that happen to you in your life is easy. But blame gets you nowhere! Blaming others takes away your power and can leave you paralyzed and unable to focus on solutions. How do we stop blaming others and take back control of our life, relationships, and career?
When you blame others, you are not taking responsibility for yourself. You remain a victim and give away your power to create and/or recreate your own destiny! And while it may provide some temporary relief, blame does not alleviate your circumstances or help you solve problems.
Instead, blame can turn you into a lifelong victim, keeping you stuck, stagnant, and unable to move forward in your life. In many cases, it can even keep you from reaching your full potential and from accomplishing your goals.
The truth is, you and only you have the power to change your life or to improve your circumstance. When you blame others, you give away that power and give up your control.
I want to help you take back your power. Help you take back control of your destiny and your ability to change any situation or circumstance in your life.
I’m sharing three things you must do to stop blaming others and take back control of your life, relationships, and career:
#1 You have to take full responsibility for you
You have to take responsibility for where you are in your life, responsibility for your decisions, your actions (and in some cases, your inaction) and responsibility for your outcomes and results.
If you don’t like where you are, change it! I admit, it can be difficult to acknowledge that you made a mistake, or that you made a bad decision, especially when that mistake or bad decision lands you in a difficult place or a tough spot.
We’re good at pointing the finger and blaming our parents, our spouse, our ex-spouse, our children, our teachers, our co-workers, and just about anyone else outside of ourselves.
One of the stories I share in my book details why I was so mad at Oprah Winfrey that, for many years, I wouldn’t watch her show! Yes, it sounds crazy and irrational right now, especially since I have never personally met Oprah in person, but at the time, it was very serious and I felt justified.
For the sake of time, I’m not going to go into all detail here, and if you really want to know why I blamed Oprah for something that happened in MY life, get a copy of the book for free. I promise, I tell it all. And this isn’t a ploy just to get you to buy the book. In fact, you can get the book for free on my website, but this is an example of how irrational we can be when we are in blame mode and not taking full responsibility for ourselves.
#2 Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You
My mentor, Les Brown, who also wrote the foreword for my book, says that “what other people think of you is none of your business.”
But the reality is, we make it our business because we fear being judged and rejected, and we fear not being liked by others. Then we make life decisions based on these fears and what others will think of us. We allow others’ opinions of us to dictate choices we make in our lives: our career path, where we work, what we wear, how we eat, etc.
Ultimately we blame these same people when we don’t get the results we were hoping for. We slide right back into the blame game, blaming others, making excuses, avoiding the real issues, and being unable to make real changes in our lives.
#3 Move Beyond Your Labels and Limitations
Society can be rough! The people in your everyday life – your family and friends and coworkers – can be just as rough.
We are judged and labeled based on our outward appearance, life conditions, where we grew up, our family and cultural background, and a gazillion other superficial criteria.
And while these labels can sometimes feel callous and insensitive, it doesn’t compare to the labels and limitations that we sometimes place on ourselves.
Whether given by society or self-inflicted, labels can cause you to have a false sense of who you authentically are.
Like many of you, I have experienced many different situations in my life and at times have worn many labels, from being a teenaged parent, fatherless daughter, college dropout, single mother, married, divorced and bankrupt (and those are just a few to mention).
But, just like with people and their opinions, you can’t give labels and limitations power and control over your life. Don’t allow your perceived limitations to put you in a box, to suffocate your dreams and potential, or cause you to become stuck and unable to see your real worth.
Don’t give your power away
While taking responsibility can make you feel bad, it’s a good thing. The same power and control that you exercised when you made that bad decision is the same power and control you can use to make new and better choices. You are in control!
So remember, you and you only are responsible for your life and have the power to change any circumstance in your life. Stop blaming others and outside influences for your life, and stop giving that power away.
When you take responsibility for you, you can let go of the anger and bitterness you feel towards others and pull yourself out of any rut.
When you stop blaming others, you can also make new and better choices to change your life and take back control of your life, relationships, and career.
I hope that you learned something that you can use to make some positive changes in your life. If you enjoyed reading, please be sure to like it, comment below, and share it with others who blame others for their life challenges.
Also, let me know if there is a specific topic you would like for me to cover. I love getting your feedback and suggestions.
Remember, with the right Balance, Support, Determination and Action, every dream is possible. Your Dream is possible!
I would love to hear from you. Comment below to let me know how you put these strategies to use in your life.
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